Things that come to mind
Sometimes I wonder if I engage in excessive bouts of self-entertainment simply to keep my mind off things. Indeed, thinking’s something to be avoided, rather than to be encouraged, as far as I am concerned.
Perhaps one of the few improvements that my life has seen is that I am not quite missing Tokyo so much, at least over the past few days. I suppose it’s the reassurance that I’ll be returning there for a stretch soon that helps to release the burden of brooding over it from my mind ever so little. In any case, I’m thankful, in this case to the wonderful folk at the Japanese Cultural Society, as well as those not in the JCS but who are equally involved in organizing and preparing for our trip (and the sponsors!).
This whole idea of gratitude has been hitting me hard of late. Many (if not a plurality of the) people who know me would generally bear the impression that I’m an incorrigible ingrate - and that is something I would agree with to some extent (though decidedly not whole-heartedly). I am not sure what I can do, but for now I’m allowing the idea to ferment at the back of my mind.
Over the past week or so I have been engaged in the intensive study of politics, and to be honest, though I used to find it extremely interesting and stimulating, the overload of information has led me to feel somewhat demoralised and indeed, discouraged at my prospects in this year’s Advanced Placement examinations. Especially since I had more or less made up my mind to seek my fortune (or to use a more modern term, fulfill my destiny) in Tokyo instead of some city in die Vereinigte Staaten the AP exam starts to feel incredibly irrelevant to me from a pragmatic perspective. However I just feel that I’ll seriously regret going through high school without doing anything other than random extracurriculars and an academic curriculum that I objectively consider to be inadequate and at times a positive insult to anyone’s intelligence (despite my poor performance in certain subjects - notice the irony). Still, I don’t see how intensive studying for an EXAM reflects anything about my ‘worldliness’ and ‘passion for learning’ or whatnot. But I must say that it’s a good motivation.
On another note, I failed (meaning failing to secure what they term a ’silver award’) the physical fitness test by six seconds on the one and a half mile run. Perhaps it was because I haven’t been in top form, perhaps it was because of sheer bad luck or even a moment of weak will - but the fact is that my examinations will interfere with the regular re-test schedule. This is yet another problem I’ll be forced to grapple with. Wonderful, isn’t it? At least, I know that for all the exertions I had to make for the test I know I can pass without too much uncertainty. (Really - six seconds. Wtf.)
Now it’s back to hitting the books. Again. Such is the lot of Man. Or at least, a semi-ambitious one.
April 24th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Why the Imperial units, old chum?
My personal failure was in the standing broad jump, I could have qualified for a gold based on the score alone. ;(