私の生きた証拠

Yep the Kobe girls came today. I won’t comment on the individual attractiveness(es) of each girl, but suffice to say they all seem to be very nice people (though they don’t support the LDP. But then again I support Koizumi, not the LDP per se). Here’s a brief summary of events.

After picking them up at school (NO, NOT THAT ‘pick up’) we proceeded to Yishun for dinner (after a long, long time spent waiting for Ben-chan and debating on what to do). Once again my Japanese got pwned in the presence of natives. But that’s fine - I still have some time before it’s time for me to start my life in paradise. I’m sure I’ll be able to brush it up somehow. Anyway after stuffing ourselves (of course by some written law of nature Japanese girls don’t eat very much) the party split up to set down the baggage and stuff, while I spent some time doing weird exercises at Yishun park. (Really - you gotta try the equipment there to believe it. It was fun anyway - particularly the swing.) After waiting for half of forever, Ben-chan and his guest Kyoko showed up. So while messing around with the playground equipment we sort of chatted. Once again I stress that my Japanese is woefully inadequate. And I wonder how I managed to pass JLPT1 on the most difficult exam year on record (2006) with a comfortable margin (of 44 marks). After waiting for the half of forever Jon Yee showed up with his guest and we walked off to SAFRA. I actually surprised them by telling them about the House of Councilors elections results (put it simply the DPJ has a nice majority), and we bought drinks before Esther came along with her guest and we all went to the game center, where Ben-chan demonstrated sheer prowess with the Para Para Paradise machine. And we took pictures (of course). Then it was back to playground for more swing rides and rides on this thingy that made Jon Yee and I fear for our manhoods (no kidding - you gotta try it to believe it). I somehow managed to learn how to take a swing ride properly (its got something to do with inputing energy into the system via a set body movement to be repeated periodically) and discovered a drinks machine which theoretically accepts notes but in actual fact doesn’t. The others played some rather silly game which I just watched, and Jon Yee got to do an interesting forfeit (in true Japanese style) that I won’t describe here - go ask him. XD

Must be fun to host exchange program students (and by some miracle GIRLS in BOYS’ homes!!!). Too bad I have to leave for the United Kingdom in a few hours. I shall pack all the cheem books and lyrics I care to translate into my backpack. And I don’t have a polo tshirt. Hope all goes well (I trust Lagman isn’t a complete asshole and has some common sense).

Nope this isn’t a translation. It’s one of the very few (meaning less than 10) English songs I really like.

somewhere
TVアニメ「スレヤイーズTRY」第26話（最終話）エンディングテーマ
TV Anime “SLAYERS TRY” Episode 26 (Final Episode) Ending Theme

歌：桑島法子
Vocal: Kuwashima Houko

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Over the week I’ve been spending a lot of time listening to the Touka Gettan songs (checking my last.fm profile should show that next week), and as a result I’ve been spending more time away from Ayako-sama’s album.

On a completely random side note, animelyrics.tv is down.

But now I’m back to 「patch of blue sky」, and the moment I switched to it, a sense of warmth and comfort akin to immersing in a nice hot bath just swept over me. There’s this saying that goes like ‘there’s nothing like home’, and for the moment, setting 「patch of blue sky」 to play really feels like home.

That brings me to my next point. Am I obsessed with the song, Ayako-sama’s music in general, or Ayako-sama herself (as a musician/singer/composer/lyricist? As an icon or more alarmingly, as a person/woman?)? I’ve been always prone to obsessing over one thing or another at times - to me it’s perfectly normal. But indeed this degree of obsession over Ayako-sama and related things (as I am not certain at the moment exactly WHAT I am obsessed over) is rare for me.

I once read somewhere that whatever’s on your mind the most is what you care for, or love most. If that theory holds true, then I seem to be most concerned about my various proposals, Japanese politics and national defense, song translating, and of course, Ayako-sama and her music. Of these, the ones I can ‘love’ are possibly just song translating and Ayako-sama (and attachments).

To state that I do not love Ayako-sama is an untenable position, I should think. What is the crux of the matter here is on what basis I love her. As a musician/voice actress? Certainly - that goes without saying. But how much do I actually know her as a person? For all her high-profile projects she doesn’t seem to be a terribly open person in the sense that she doesn’t talk all that much about herself on print and internet media (though I have no idea what she says on Marunabi since I can’t tune in to the show from Singapore) as far as I can see. I probably know her less than the average rabid fan (and somehow or other I don’t consider myself a rabid fan), to be brutally honest. Is this a natural phenomenon that occurs with adolescence? I wonder about that often (come on no amount of hormones can impair my cognitive functions to the extent that I dismiss any unflattering scientific explanation or theory outright, when my brain’s so hyperactive), but like many of the things coursing through my head there’s never really an answer.

Sure I find many girls cute (and state so shamelessly), be it real-life 3-dimensional beings or 2-dimensional colored dots on a computer screen but the degree of attraction I feel to any one of them doesn’t come within an order of magnitude of what I feel for Ayako-sama. So what is it? Is it love? What sort? Is it real? What basis is it on? Will it last? What will it come to? I want answers, but despite following the Socratic method answers probably won’t just pop up, no matter how much I think about it or wish for an answer.

I suppose all I can do is to soak myself in her voice/music, and see how it goes. It’s a great narcotic, at the very least. I even experience withdrawal symptoms. At this point I do wonder if getting hooked on crack is that much worse.

That’s probably all for tonight. I’m leaving in less than 30 hours anyway. Packing’s not done yet but I’m not going to worry about it for now. Thinking (and feeling) about Ayako-sama comes first. It’s already a nightly ritual, anyway.

Yes, the Liberal Democratic Party is getting owned left right center up down front and back by the Democratic Party of Japan. I’m following the results on Yahoo and so far it’s LDP 16 vs DPJ 40 at 21.38 JST.

More updates as we go along.

It’s been a while since I’ve written. And by heavens the recent days and weeks have been eventful. Just this week I managed to wear a yukata to school (and attend classes in it all day, as well as eating and braving the heat), sign up for two international exams (the HSK and EJU), received results for an exam (EJU, for which I did miserably for math, marginally acceptably for Japanese Language and sort of well for Japan and the World), do a lot of digital housekeeping, attend my first session at the biology olympiad training program (and bearing in mind that I don’t take biology in school), spoke to some important people about my ’secret’ conspiracies, and held a really lengthy discussion about Japanese politics and Japanese university admission with my mentor’s husband completely in Japanese (albeit with my dictionary as a translation aid). Not to mention that I actually returned my overdue library items, and bought a philosophy book written in Japanese (on top of the regulation seiyuu mags and School Rumble vol. 17). On a side note, I somehow managed to make the ‘Dean’s List’ (some listing of high/top scorers in the various subjects) for General Paper and Japanese language. I also did a lot of silly things that I might mention someday.

But I wonder if I’m burning out. (By the way the coffee I spilled into my keyboard has started hosting mould - I wonder if I should just dump this thing and buy a new one.) I’ve felt it coming for a long time - and a telling sign is my reluctance to blog. I intended this blog to be a sort of record of my existence (hence the title), and not updating seems to be denying my own existence, which amounts to quite a contradiction. And really, staring at the whitish stuff between and under the keys makes me want to do something… But never mind. I’m too broke to buy a keyboard anyway. After all, I just paid good old Sec-chan/Jon 150 bucks for 3 CDs and a Haruhi figurine (yes the Max Factory one) that he brought in for me (saving me A LOT of trouble, bless him). Oh and did I mention that I decided on a signature? I gotta admit it’s a beauty, paying both ample respect (and genuine homage) to the name my parents have given me, while not neglecting the Japanese ‘roots’ which I have adopted for myself. I’m still practising to get it right, but generally I can achieve 80% or so commonality. Anyway that’s not really the point.

I had begun writing a post on my midlife crisis some time ago, but i doubt I’m going to finish it. But to summarize it it’s really about my growing disinterest in sciences in general (plunging to almost complete apathy for chemistry, and weakening for physics, though not biology as yet), and growing interest (perhaps even fire) for the social sciences. I realize that Miss Niu was right from the start (call it maybe two years ago) when she said that it would be ‘a waste if [I] didn’t study arts’.

By the way I’m filled with a sense of purpose I seldom feel at the moment. (And no it’s not about picking up the Kobe babes.) But that’s a sort of secret.

It must have been weeks since I began working on this song. It also holds the all-time record for the number of pieces of paper I used to translate it (four, including the printout).

How should I put it? This is one of the two songs (the other being ‘patch of blue sky’ which has no lyrics) that caused me to fall in love all over again with Ayako-sama. (Believe me the feeling is exceedingly overwhelming, and somewhat strange - with a sense of deja vu but also with the freshness of a new discovery.) I thought it would be fitting to translate it somehow, and for this song I adopted an approach that I do not normally use, which is to try very hard to stick to the form and flow of the song, and to make the translation actually match the music (not much point in that, but it somehow makes the translation look nice to me at least. ^^;)

Please support her by buying her album 「primary」! It’s the best fifty dollars I’ve ever spent. Or was it sixty? But who cares? I’d pay a hundred without a second thought for an unopened first press. And yes I’ll be buying that soon, or latest when I head back to paradise for a stint in November-December. How about you? ^^
　
　
sakura
川澄綾子の1st アルバム「Primary」より

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It surprised me that I completed this song translation first, ahead of all the other projects I’m working on, on and off (call it 20-30 of them).

Just a private comment here, but this song is horrendously sleep-inducing. Mark my words on that.

キミへ　ムカウ　ヒカリ
TVアニメ「ゼーガペイン」OP

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綾子様はステキです！！！

誰も敵わぬ優しさの満ちた声、そしてその心の糸をかき鳴らすピアノの音…　綾子様の声と音楽には人を感動させ、魂の形を変える力がある。何度も聞いても、いつもあの方の音楽に呑み込まれてしまう。

プロの作曲者ではない綾子様は他人の違って、きっと、いつもご自身の心と気持ちを込めて作曲するのでしょう。「primary」に収録した十曲はすべて綾子様ご自身の魂により生み出された傑作であり、「patch of blue sky」や「sakura」や「空ノナマエ」も私の日常生活にある掛け替えのない一部になった。

いつものほどではないが、私はよく綾子様の音楽、声、そしてあの方ご自身のことを想う。喜びや悔しさや苛立ちを感じるときや別に何も考えていないときも、綾子様の声が心の中に響きだす。恐ろしく思われるだろうが、私は別に何も望んではおらぬ。ただ遠くから綾子様のことを愛し続け、応援し続けたいと思う。想いは届かぬだろうが、それでもいいんじゃないか。結局、こうするしかないのだから。

Speech contest is over. I got my exam grades. Life has changed, but Ayako-sama’s brilliance remains as undiminished and as unfettered as the day I fell in love with Lafiel (and by extension, Ayako-sama herself) on that hot afternoon in 2004 (or was it 03?)

Oh and thanks to all the folks who showed up to watch my speech (and my getting owned outright) at the Japanese Association! My mentor, Kawakami Chikako-sensei (河上千夏子), my mum (ever long-suffering and the perfect model for even a Japanese lady to emulate), Perry (the oldest and bestest friend I can remember having), my school friends and comrades Changxing, Jon Yee (Sec-chan to me XD) Desmond-chan and Royce-chan, IRC chatbuddy AkaiWolf (AKA ShirokazeAkai, depending on his mood), and Shioya-sensei (who came to watch everyone - 5/6 JC finalists are his pupils anyway) all came down to support me, and here’s a great thank you! I’m sorry for getting owned and getting only third place, and I am also sad that I missed out on a free plane ride to TOKYO. But allow me to lament about that another time, if ever. ^^

Now for mundane matters.

Though I didn’t exactly show it on my face, I was pretty shocked when I read in an article Zhong Zhong passed to me that adolescents (yes, despite my oh-I-am-old-and-useless-and-my-right-foot-is-in-the-coffin attitude towards life, my body more or less behaves like an adolescent’s) don’t get enough. Apparently they need (*GASP*) NINE AND A HALF HOURS of sleep. A day. Who here thinks that isn’t screwed up? Ok fine facts are facts - but trying to get nine and a half hours is well nigh impossible. It’s a question of math. According to my estimate I’m approaching something like 30 periods of class (including PE, homeroom, PW and Chinese but NOT INCLUDING H3 physics), which comes to something like 27 hours. Officially my club activities take up another 14 or so hours, but since I usually skip something call it 10-12. Add in time wasters and necessary soyabean breaks (not an exaggeration; I drink soyabean in maybe 3/4 of all break periods). The result isn’t something to make me terribly happy. And yes I’m not getting enough sleep, though I daresay I’m getting perhaps just slightly less than average.

I need to find my lecture notes clean my room. Can’t put it off any longer.

Ignore the title.

Ok fine it’s sort of relevant. By the way I’m listening my way through Ayako-sama’s album (right now it’s playing ‘空ノナマエ’)

I spent this morning at the apartment of arguably the bestest friend I’ve ever had (though we routinely fade in and out of each other’s lives, but for us MEN it’s perfectly fine - and don’t make me recall Hitohira and Ayako-sama’s voice…), watching 2 minutes of Mythbusters and more minutes watching a documentary on Hershey’s chocolates (don’t ask me why - we couldn’t leave because of the rain so we opted to watch TV), and soon after leaving the house had our umbrellas destroyed by the wind. We rather uneventfully reached Coffee Bean in Bishan, and over breakfast we gabbled about my pet topic - education.

A summary of what we discussed is as follows:
1. A levels still suck after all.
2. The contrasting subject idea is good, but it has serious problems.
3. Economics should be classified as a ’science’ subject due to its quantitative nature (at college level and up).
4. SPA sucks. Practicals shouldn’t be assessed in the form of an exam.
5. There should be two science streams: one for the people interested in science, one for those who have no idea what they want to do or have nothing better to do than to take science.
6. Everyone should study history or geography or some other humanities/social science subject in high school.

Most of the ideas were mine, but somehow I managed to convince him of the merits of some of my ideas (though we agree that my ideas are difficult, if not impossible to implement in practise.)

Anyway that’s not what I’m really trying to say. I’m just mildly amused that I would engage in intellectual debate on the morning of my birthday (on 07/07/07, no less - and coincidentally my favorite passenger plane is the Boeing-777, which I took from Shanghai to Singapore in June 1998).

(Note on the afternoon of July 8: I don’t have energy to finish a proper post, so I’m leaving this as it is. And oh I have pics of Lee Kuan Yew from the Cosfest on Saturday (7/7). But they’re bad quality so I’m not showing them.)