Raison d’être
No, I am not referring to the Tanaka Rie song of the same name, and of Chobits fame.
Not unusually for me, I spent much of the day thinking (other than trying to force random thoughts of gi- people out of my head as I tossed and turned in bed and the stint at Sengkang CC reporting income tax). To be frank, I felt calmer than I have in a long time.
It’s the sort of calm that comes with ‘omg I am going to survive this crap’. Ok maybe not. Whatever the case is, ‘raison d’être’ is what I have been thinking about.
For the uninitiated, the phrase translates roughly to ‘reason to be’, or in context, ‘The claimed reason for the existence of something or someone; the purpose of something or someone’, according to Wikipedia.
I made a rather stunning intellectual leap. At least, it is to me a stunning intellectual leap.
What I need in times of distress, confusion or sheer depression isn’t comfort or help.
It’s to have someone who needs me even more.
Taken in this perspective, I can begin to see why I prefer (even to the point of enjoying) solving other people’s problems rather than my own. And I daresay this preference is innate.
In men.
After all, chauvinistic and feminist attitudes aside, the truth is that men in general fight far more viciously and courageously when they fight to protect something (albeit by destroying the other guy). Tales of men who jump on grenades and charge pillboxes alone are common simply because such things are typically done in personal sacrifice for the achievement of a greater goal. One’s own needs become insignificant when the needs of someone else more important or the needs of many more arise.
That’s why I hardly ever feel comforted by words. Perhaps the only solace or comfort for my problems lies in acting to solve others’.
If they let me, of course.